Thursday, December 17, 2009

Merry Barkmas & A Yippy New Year!

'Hangs head guiltily'

I know, I should be ashamed that I'm up at such a late hour, but I just had to wish all my canine friends and friendly owners the best of holidays!

I'm off with my Mama for a 9 and a half hour trip in just a wee few hours. All the more reason I should be asleep now, but I owe it to my fans 'ahem' to say a few words first.

Here's hoping your stocking is filled with all the canine goodness it can hold. I know mine is.

'wiggles eyebrows'

Until next time, doggie lovers and loving doggies!

Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 7, 2009

My Trip to the Canine Doctor

Must we....all creatures great and small have our bodies manhandled rudely by unfamiliar hands, touching us in our sensitive spots? I mean even the instruments are cold and I'm fairly sure the fur (what little I have) will undoubtedly fly off my body before I can even race to the car.

 'BRRRRRR, teeth chattering'

I know we little furry tykes need to be reminded that we're healthy by the human persuasion that specializes in that fact....and I have to say my mostest favorite doggie doctor in the whole world, that had tried to retire, saw me today, but still I justs get too nervous when I have to tip toe into that cold sterile environment and hop up onto the weight scale that looks reminiscent of a small treadmill.

And then.....then my ears are poked, mouth fingered and I have two needles gouging my little furry body. Okay so 'gouging' is my word of the day to embellish. Dr. Miller takes great care in handling me, it's just, I have this uncomfortable sense of 'I wanna get out of here as fast as I can. Nice to see you again Dr. Miller. Can't we just meet and have some dog biscuits at my house while I tell you I'm perfectly fine' insecurity when Mama loads me up for that short trip down the road.

But I do have to say my vet people treat me real NICE! They love me and I snicker every time they mistakenly call my Mama by my name. I like that Mama's identity ties into me.

'Shelby's Mama'

Heee. Heee

Later loving doggies and doggie lovers!

The Shelbster

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Helllloooooooooooooooo Out There In Doggie Land!

I'm appealing to the canine in all of us. YES, even you animal loving HUMANS! My theory is that everyone is part animal, but only special loving adoptable pet lovers have that special pooch gene.

I trust that each of you had a very satisfying and scrumptious Thanksgiving.

'licks lips'

Now I plead for all animal lovers and loving animals to call on that great Santa Paws. Beg, plead, lick and beg some more in order to get your mostest favorite stocking stuffer of all time.

Mama doesn't know but I have eyes in the back of my head.

But of course they are invisible to the naked eye. Anywho, I peeked at my big stocking full of poochie goodness, topped off by a big yellow canine friend.

Betcha can't guess which stocking is mine.

'prances in circles allowing time for the audience to figure it out'

Again I ask each of my fellow doggie cousins to appeal to the poochie gene in your adopted family of humans. Express your innermost doggie urges and needs. Prioritize gifts of importance and if necessary offer to perform minimal tasks around the house for extra allowance money.

'ponders the thought'

On second thought it's best to just lay around, lick your human every once in awhile, nuzzle their legs, necks and make them feel so special with all the unconditional love us pups display.

And remember not only your humans but also Santa Paws loves you! So start making your lists, checking them twice and if you need any extra advice or words of wisdom to get your way with your human, just drop me a line!

I'll be taking a pooch nap while visions of snausages dance in my head!

Until later, doggie lovers and loving doggies,

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Smells Like Chicken, Tastes Like Turkey!

Okay a special blog for all you canine-human pups out there. Psssst, it's time to gather around the big ol' table of love next week when the human peoples have that HUGE meal and all the trimmings!

Gather around and let's talk turkey. I'll demonstrate some ways to ensure that you and your animal friends alike will be able to have your own feast on that special day.

Strike a pose and follow my expressions. 'wiggles eyes'

First, after you creep up to the table, look away abruptly. They will think you're just performing your daily walk of exercise.

Second, appear disinterested in their mundane conversation. Say something along the lines of - 'was that Santa I just saw and his eight smelly reindeer?'

Third, try a new disguise!  A cool elf hat is sure to win you points on the meal. And then put on your weakest look.

And if no one pays attention - grovel, moan, sigh heavily until you sneeze thick mucus from your nostrils. OKAY, maybe not that latter part. It isn't a sure bet that you will get any closer to the big bird on the table. In fact being chased away is your best bet.

And FINALLY, put on your best  pose yet. I've been so good all year round. It's almost time for Santa Paws and I'm so weak I can barely stand for this picture. Please feed me and I will be on my best doggie behavior for the rest of the year!

I'm telling you pups, it works. Try it and let me know the end result!

Till later loving doggies and doggie lovers!


Friday, November 13, 2009

Welcome Home, Give ME Treats!!!

I must get the word out. Mama's friend came home from the hospital today!!!


I loves Chrissy cause she's so sweet to my Mama. Speaking of, do I see any Scooby snacks in my future? HUH? Not that I was bribed to blog. No way, no how. I just wanted to express my inner doggie urges and gratitude for my buddie's quick recovery.

'wiggles eyes, flashing that adorable doxie grin.

So, pssst tell Mama you want a box of turkey apple bite treats, a jar of snausages and some shark cartilage bones tossed in with about fifteen bags of healthy recipe multi-veggie biscuits.

AHEM, just sayin' it always helps me feel lots and lots better when I'm TREATED just right. 'Scratches neck' and if you don't want any of those special requests I just made, can always send 'em to me cause that'd be wayyyyyy sweet of you. Just like I know you are anyway.

I'll let you in on a secret.

'whispers'  never mix the snausages with the turkey apple bite treats. YUCK!

That's right, you heard me. Nasty after taste develops.

I've got plenty of other suggestions for recovering at a quicker pace. So just ask me. They involve lots of pampering, which I'm sure my Mama would do for you. I'll put in a good word for ya.....if you make it worth my time, ahem.

Anywho, time for a snack. All this talk has made me hungry. Let's see what I can talk my good Mama into giving me this evening.

I ruff you, Chrissy! 'licks your cheek'

Weeeeee, I'm a bat. I crack myself up sometimes.

Till later doggie lovers and loving doggies! 'wink'

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Singing The Blues and Why That's a Good Thing!

"Does the happy snoopy dance in the air'

I got a special present from Mama's friend last night.


(Posing for my best side)

Us little tykes with practically furless bodies have to stick together. We need warmth and love and people like Ms. Chrissy to pamper us just like our mommies!

Okay, okay I'm a happy pup. As I've eluded to before I have a fleece fetish. Can't help it and there isn't even a self-help program for my recovery efforts. But I really don't care cause I LOVE FLEECE!

AND best of all my snuggie is made of fleece, (there could be no other material ever that I would love more) but on second thought, ahem, my Mama got a snuggie too and it looks a little bigger than mine. So I think I may have to play extra nice, use all my loving charm and beg for hers too.

You laugh? It's actually worked before but I have a feeling even she might not give up the snuggie very easily. Something about it being a gift and a really sweet person giving it to her. I have to agree though on the last part.

Well, I shall snuggle up with my snuggie, heeheehee! It's raining cats and dogs here today. YIKES! Who said that? I think I hit a sensitive nerve there.


I've never understood what that meant. I mean really, I've never seen it rain anything but water. I could understand if maybe once it had rained a ferret or groundhog, but I've never seen it rain felines or canines.

Now of course I could understand if it rained poodles. There's something odd about curly fur and no I'm not jealous. I mean is it a sheep or a poodle? I want to know what my breed looks like. Don't need to be confused with another animal.


Anyway, my monologue for today is nearly over and I shall stay comfy, snuggling with my new snuggie.

Thanks again, Chrissy. 'licks your cheek.'

Pssst, doggie lovers get your pet a snuggie, especially the small pooches. They will love you forever!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Things Pups Are Thankful For This Time of Year!

I was sad when I learned that Mama and Chrissy couldn't take me on a vacation this month.

'Scratches behind ear.'

I mean our vacation to Pigeon Forge was rescheduled (hopefully) for next month. I had never heard of the place and all of a sudden I have an extreme fondness for pigeon sighting. I mean I've seen birds, I know what pigeons look like. (They're so oddly shaped from other birds). But now all I have is pigeons dancing inside my little canine brain. That and some woman singing country music songs, that my Mama keeps telling me is a well known singer - Dolly Parton.

Anyway, I decided in my moments of anguish from our vacation postponement that I would list some things that make me happy and thankful to be a canine.

#1 - That I'm not a canine, I'm a human in a fur-trapped body. (and no I'm not delusional, it's just the way it is.)
#2 - Mama's love (even though I'm convinced she could be less stingy on those scrumptious treats.)
#3 - Wonderful grandparents that accept me as the human dog I am.
#4 - Heaters, fleece and the ability to get warm in 0.2 seconds.
#5 - Health, even though I'm older, Mama pampers me, takes me to my vet and to see specialists when I need it. And when that Chronic Bronchitis flares up, she loves me anyway and gives me chewy, tasty antibiotics. (She tries to make even the medicine I take yummy if she can.)
#6 - Pigeons 'rolls eyes' Why I have no idea. I just have a fondness for pigeons these days. But one question escapes me.

Do they taste like chicken?

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween's For Canines TOO!

My Mama told me life was like a box of chocolates....oh wait a minute...I think that was Gumby.

'Shakes head'

That still doesn't sound right. And I'm not completely sure what chocolates are anyway although Mama makes sure I don't get near any. I've smelled chocolate before, that strong, luscious aromatic flavor sifting through...'holds nose high in the air with an intoxicating glare'......ahem, anyway I'm not sure what chocolate tastes like or even why I'm suddenly fixated on it.

I'm dressing up for Halloween.

Mama chuckled when I told her what my costume was. Give up?! I'm dressing up as a dog....a miniature dachshund to be more specific. You see I'm a human trapped in a fur covered canine body. I pull off the look of a canine pretty darn well, cause...well....Mama says I'm special like that.

So, my post will be short.

Mama came back from the store and I keep pacing around, dodging her intense stares as I shove my head in all three bags filled with poochie goodness. I recognize the Petsmart logo. Drives my Mama nuts that I'm gifted like that, but what can I say?

I'm a well-loved and pampered pooch!

Enjoy your day filled with nibbly morsels and the aroma of chocolate in the air!

Me? I'm a party animal....'cheesy grin'

Shelbs, the convinced human-canine companion

Monday, September 28, 2009

Dogs Need Vacations TOO!! 'Ruff Ruff'

I sit at home day in day out waiting anxiously for my Mama to come home, blubber me and feed me to my heart's content. Okay, maybe that last part doesn't happen. I freely admit that I'm hooked on a variety of the healthiest dog biscuits and treats known to man or canine-kind.

If Mama wouldn't buy such lip-smacking treats...'looks around worried'...on second thought I better not post that. I might end up with dried up tree bark or those freaky little people crackers that resemble the oddest miniature version of professional people in society from postal workers to policemen.

'Shakes head'

Anyway back to my point for this post. I need a vacation. I want a vacation. I deserve a vacation!. Now anyone got any ideas where a sassy little senior pup like myself can go and have a good time?

The movie set of Scooby Doo crossed my mind but I'm fairly certain that's in make-believe land. Is that in Florida?

I think Mama really wants to go to Pigeon Forge, TN although I'm puzzled why she'd want to see a bunch of pigeons flying around, but I'll go along for the ride cause it makes her happy to include me.

And don't get me started on the lack of pet hotels. Yeah, there are some but not nearly enough as there should be.

HEY, narrow-minded, puppy haters - we're people too! If we are injured do we not bleed? Give us more accommodations as we travel with our loving owners that treat us as the people we are!

Yes, I'm bilingual although not nearly as proficient in speaking as I am in typing. I can curse and bark on a dime!

So there, pups need breaks too!

I shall save my rant for another post! All this bitching has made me tired.

Monday, September 21, 2009

My Cough Has Improved & So Has Mama's Attitude

Okay, so I'm here again. I've been accused of taking the limelight from my Mama, but I don't think that's the case. I'm just exceptionally gifted that way.

Since most of you don't know who I am and the greatness I'm capable of having, let me show you an introduction through my adorable photos.

Then you can see for yourself what a special little senior pup I really am.

I love my toy collection, probably more than most doggies. I can't help it. I guess it's part of my fleece fetish. I have millions of stuffed animals that on occasion I treat as if they were my own puppies. Mama looks at me strange when I do that, but then she smiles and chuckles and I know all is right with the world.

My fleece camel named Lumpy

My valentine pooch named Pinky

My Lobster named Lobby

My fleece lamb named Lil' Lamby


I'm a tired little toot now. Mama was up at 5 a.m. taking this picture of me. Something about her thinking it was just too darn adorable that I was hugging the side of the bed. She loves me. What can I say?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

WooHoo My First Follower! Does that equate with stalking?

I see Chrissy, Mama's friend. Thanks for dropping by. Pssst, got any treats? Cause Mama's being a tad stingy this afternoon, ahem. It will be in your best interest to pamper me, just saying. Course pampering is the name of the game.

It's a bitch to have Chronic Bronchitis!

Hello fellow canine folk and their dedicated owners. Allow me to introduce myself, 'cough, cough.'

My name's Shelby and I've been the love of my Mama's life for over 15 years. Lately I've been fighting off the aggravating effects of Bronchitis. I cough here. I cough there. I keep Mama up at night and I don't like it. Subsequently, she doesn't like it either but she loves me and understands.

Any doggie advice for a little scrappy 8lb. doxie would be lovely to have. I'm appealing to the canine in all of us. Yes I'm convinced that true animal lovers are part canine too!

'Looks around, feeling rather right at home.'

Cool, I'm liking this booger thing, errrr, I mean blogger thing. I think I'll be content to just sit here and wait on my fellow doggies to converse with me.

Ohhhh, big words for such a little pup. Won't Mama be so proud?!

Slobbers n' licks,